"I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance," Jesus tells us in Luke.

A lot of "Christians" will tell you that your accepting and knowing Jesus as Lord is not the only way for God's forgiveness to be realized in your life.

This is simply not what Jesus said.

Jesus said you must believe in Him and know that He and He alone covers us in His righteousness.

He and He alone is righteous. So, you can only be saved when you decide in your to heart answer His call to Him, for His Lordship, for His righteousness. He is the Truth, the Way, and the Life. There is none other.

Yes, we need to forgive others as God has forgiven us. When we hold things against others, we are failing to realize what God has done for us by forgiving us if we are saved and believing in Jesus Christ as the only Master of our will.

If I tell a righteous person that they will surely live, but then they trust in their (own) righteousness and do evil, none of the righteous things that person has done will be remembered; they will die for the evil they have done. Ezekiel 33:13

- TODD HORNE

Thank you Father for your love that is poured out upon me every moment. Forgive me for the times I fail you, but thank you for your mercy. Help me to keep a thirst and hunger for your word and a prayer life that keeps me in your presence and blessings. Stretch me until your will and purpose is done. Cleanse the depth of my soul, bind me in your love so that my life will spread your peace.

In Jesus' Name I Pray,
Amen

I really do love my wife. I always have. But I am not very good at it.

I'm not alone. None of us -- including you -- are capable of loving of our wives the way we should unless we are living life in obedience to God and dying to ourselves daily as Christ showed us through his love for us.

Alone -- on our own -- we are not capable of selflessly loving one another. Think about the last time someone offended you, someone angered you, someone upset you. You're probably wondering what this has to do with your wife and your ability to love your wife. What if I told you, only everything. You see, the way we think about, consider and treat other people, those we are not close to, is actually an indicator to us of how our spiritual heart pumps. The closer we are to people, the more things we take for granted. The less guarded we are. Have you ever noticed that you give strangers more latitude, more freedom, more respect and more grace than you give to those closest to you? No matter how good or bad you think your relationship is with your wife, no one is closer to you than she is. You might disagree with this statement completely, but I am not talking about what you think or what you feel. Thoughts and feelings can be and often are misleading. They are highly overrated. I am talking about reality. God's reality. If you stood before God and man -- witnesses -- and took a marriage vow, whether it was in a church, before a Justice of the Peace, or you eloped to Las Vegas, that woman you married -- you became one with her. God sees you as one person. You cannot get any closer to another person than that. You just can't.

Rationally speaking, none of what I am saying here may make sense to you. I get that. But when you realize that your marital relationship is a spiritual responsibility that God has given you to love another person as He has loved you, then some things might start becoming more clear. If I live my life seeking to manifest myself, to love myself, rather than living my life to manifest Christ then I am going to have a very difficult time laying down my life, dying to myself.

When I started realizing just how inadequate I am at loving my wife, I did what any normal, self-respecting man would do -- I blocked it out. Ignored it. I pretended like the issue was not real. I even went so far as to blame my wife for my failure to love her like I knew I should.

Thankfully, God knew better. And even though I did not deserve it, He lived up to His promise. He set me straight. He did so in a brutally honest, painful way that was very kind, loving and gentle. I know that sounds like a massive contradiction in terms, but now I will attempt to explain.

As only God can do, he began sifting through me, through my heart. God began shining lights into my soul. There were -- and probably still are because I have not seen the "miners" climb out of the pit yet -- some pretty dark and scary places in there that I had no idea existed. Self-delusion is pretty powerful that way, but it doesn't bear up too well under the pillaging and destruction of a determined God out to sanctify and restore a child of His.

Somewhere along the way, I started feeling in my heart like I should pray and ask God to use me to love my wife the way He wants her to be loved. You see, I realized the only thing that consistently stands in the way of me loving my wife the way God wants to love her -- the only way God wants her to be loved -- is me. I was -- and I am -- the only thing standing in the way of God loving my wife the way she was intended to be loved by her Father.

It wasn't that I had a big problem. No, I was the BIG problem.

And the one person that was being harmed the most by me being so full of me was her, my wife -- the woman who I had vowed to love, to honor, and to cherish.

I still remember almost 20 years ago now asking God to give me the honor of Ashley becoming my wife. I remember how sincere and how pure my heart's desire was. How could I screw up something so right? How could the woman I had always dreamed about from the time I was a child -- well before I ever laid my eyes on Ashley -- have grown so distant. How could the woman who I still remember looking into her eyes and knowing without any doubt she was God's answer to my prayers not know how much I loved her. How could the person I loved more than life itself not know. Vividly I recall seeing God himself move in those beautiful eyes of hers. I remember telling her so. Yet, over time, she and I had grown apart. Life happened. She was so . . . so distant from me. So removed. My wife was so alienated . . . by my selfishness . . . that she said she no longer felt like I loved her.

At first I was angry at myself. Then, I would get mad at her. Then, I would blow it off. Push it aside. I would do anything not to deal with it. I did not want to deal with it because I did not know how. Something had to be wrong, not with me, of course, but with her.

I can't think of anything worse. You love someone, but inside all they do is hurt, and pine. They hurt because they can't feel or see your love. They pine because God created us all not only to love, but also to be loved.

As men, I believe, we have a tremendous burden placed on ourselves by ourselves, and by listening to one another in unGodly settings. We buy in to our own crap. Either we lose sight of reality at some point or we simply do not realize at all that we are here on this earth for one reason and one reason only: To glorify God.

We glorify God very simply: by being obedient. No obedience = No glory. There is no in between. You're either all in. Or, you're not in at all. Nobody knows where you stand. Except God. God knows.

God gave us two great commandments. As men, we are to love God with ALL of our heart, ALL of our soul, ALL of our strength and ALL of our mind. We are also to love one another as ourselves, as Christ loves us.

I learned the hard way that whatever God commands or instructs us to do, He also empowers us to do. I must have read or heard that at least a thousand times before it dawned on me that I did not have to depend on myself to accomplish what God wanted from me. Instead, all I had to learn how to do was get out the way. An ego is a wonderful thing to waste. We should try to waste ours every day, multiple times a day if necessary. Once we remove ourselves from the equation, by choice, God fills our empty vessel with His person, His Spirit. Love moves. In fact, the same power that allowed Jesus to endure His accusers, slanderers and murderers following an unjust trial; that same power that empowered Jesus after scourges and beatings that left His body nothing more than a pile of raw hamburger meat nailed to a cross; that same power that filled Jesus so that from that cross, as he suffocated to death, he could still pray to God the Father to "forgive them for they know what they do"; that same power is available to husbands everywhere. It is a selfless love. His will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. It requires more courage, more strength and more righteousness to accomplish than all the men who have ever lived or will live could possibly muster if they could somehow combine forces. Yet, it is available to each one of us individually, one and all, through Him and Him alone. It wasn't that long ago I did not know this. Now, I do know this.

And through Him -- Empty, selfless, and filled only with God's Holy Spirit, is the only way to truly love my wife the way she deserves because of God's grace to be loved. She is not really "my wife." She is the woman, the lady, that God has given me as my wife. Between those two ways of saying things and seeing things is more than a world of difference. I am the steward, the vessel, God has chosen to demonstrate His love, true love -- Godly love -- to my wife -- his daughter. Alone, on my own, I fail every time. In Christ, there is no failure. God, please love my wife through me. And renew in me my heart every second of every day so that I may be a vessel worthy of your love so that I can love her as you have loved me -- selflessly! In Jesus name, I pray. Amen!

God Is Waiting For Us To Humble Ourselves By Confessing Our Sins To Him And To One Another Before He Will Heal Our Land

Editor's Note: In this first teaching letter, Derek Prince (1915-September 24, 2003) is writing specifically about his country, Britain, but it is clear that the message applies to all nations, all communities, and all individuals, as well.

Dear Friend,

British Christians are confronted by a grim, undeniable fact: our nation has come under
the judgment of God. For this there are many reasons, but they can be summed up in
one simple statement: We have committed the sin for which Esau was rejected – we
have despised our birthright (Heb. 12:15-17).

God judges us according to the measure of light we have received. Jesus told the Jews of
His day that their judgment would be much more severe than that of Sodom and
Gomorrah, because they had received a much greater revelation of truth.
(Matt. 11:20-24).

The same applies to Great Britain over the last three centuries. Few other nations have
had the same access to the Word of God that has been granted to the British people.
Through culture and tradition, through churches and evangelists, and through the printed
word, Britain has been blessed above all other nations with the knowledge of God’s
truth. Our judgment for rejecting it will be correspondingly severe.

Many Christians fail to realise that God’s judgement does not begin with the people of
the world, but with the people of God. Peter told the Christians of his day, “For the time
has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will
be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God?” (1 Peter 4:17). These words
apply equally to the church in Britain today.

Of all the sins that could be charged against the contemporary church, it is sufficient to
focus on two: materialism and compromise.

In Luke 17:26-30 Jesus predicted that the period before His return would be like the
days of Noah and Lot. He mentioned specifically eight activities characteristic of those
days: eating, drinking, marrying, giving in marriage, buying, selling, building, planting.
Yet there is nothing specifically sinful in any of these activities. What, then, was the
problem?

The problem was materialism. The people of those days had become so engrossed in
these materialistic activities that they were unaware of the impending judgment of
God on their carnal lifestyle. When judgment came, they were totally unprepared.
The same is true today of most professing Christians in Britain. If the final judgment of
God should suddenly usher in the return of Christ, they would be totally unprepared.
Like materialism, the sin of compromise often goes unrecognised. About two years ago,
while praying, I had a mental picture of the interior of a typical church building with
rows of pews, a platform, a pulpit, a piano and so on. But the whole building was
permeated with some kind of fog. The outlines of objects could be discerned, but nothing
was sharply defined. While I was wondering what the fog represented, God gave me
one clear word: compromise.

In the contemporary church, most of the main moral and doctrinal truths, so clearly
enunciated in the New Testament, have become blurred and ineffective. In 1 Corinthians
6:9-10 Paul wrote: “Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers,
nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor
extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” Yet the church today is full of people who
commit these sins, but remain totally unconcerned. In fact, they often boast of such sins.
A church member lay in hospital, dying of AIDS, which he had contracted through
homosexuality. Then he received Christ and was given a New Testament. After reading
some way in the New Testament, he sent an urgent message to the person who had led
him to Christ: “Come and pray for me. I need deliverance. I never knew there was
anything wrong with my lifestyle.”

Sadly, the chief responsibility for the erosion and rejection of many of the cornerstones
of the Christian faith in this country lies not with the world but with the very leaders of
the church itself. It has become a regular occurrence to hear of bishops denying the
Virgin birth, ministers questioning the deity of Jesus and priests scorning the need for
salvation.

Perhaps the most tragic outworking of this self-destructive process has been in the spate
of “Inter-Faith” services held in Britain’s Cathedrals and Abbeys. Here we have seen an
Archbishop of Canterbury participating in the worship of foreign gods alongside leaders
of the Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim and Sikh faiths. Similar services have been attended on
at least one occasion by the Queen, who committed herself by her coronation oath to
the “Defence of the Faith”. God makes his feelings clear about such practices in Hosea
5:10 where he says: “Judah’s leaders are like those who move boundary stones. I will pour
out my wrath on them like a flood of water.”

Yet within the church there is still a remnant of sincere, devoted followers of Jesus. If we
are among that number, how does God require us to respond to the present crises?
One clear answer is given in 2 Chronicles 7:14: “If My people who are called by My name
will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then
I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” The phrase, “My
people who are called by My name,” applies to all Christians who take the name of Christ
upon themselves.

For at least 30 years I have been teaching on this Scripture, but recently I was confronted
by a shocking realisation! God’s people in our day have never fulfilled the first condition.
We have never truly humbled ourselves. Our pride – both religious and racial –
remains as a barrier that holds back the answer to our prayers for ourselves and for our
nation.

Through the severe dealings of God in my own life, I have learned the most effective
way for us to humble ourselves. Very simply, it is by confessing our sins. If we regularly
and specifically confess our personal sins to God, it is impossible to approach Him with
an attitude of pride.

Furthermore, I have seen that God has only committed Himself to forgive us of the sins
we confess. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to
cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Unconfessed sins are unforgiven
sins. Thus the barrier of pride builds up a second barrier of unforgiven sin.
The Bible exhorts us to confess our sins not merely to God, but also to one another.
“Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed”
(James 5:16). Confessing our sins to God deals with vertical pride; confessing to one
another deals with horizontal pride. We can hardly maintain an attitude of pride towards
someone to whom we have just confessed our personal sins.

This applies especially to the relationship between husbands and wives. Those who
regularly confess their sins to one another are not kept apart by a barrier of pride.
Furthermore, confession of sin is an essential prerequisite to effective intercession. Daniel
was one of the most righteous characters in the Bible, but when he set out to intercede
for his people Israel, he began by acknowledging his own share in their sin.
(Dan. 9:3-13).

I believe that God is waiting for us as British Christians to humble ourselves before Him
and one another by confessing our sins. Only after we have done that, can we move on
to claim the healing of our land.

But I must add a word of warning. Do not begin to indulge in morbid introspection! The
Holy Spirit is “the finger of God” (Matt. 12:28; Luke 11:20). Ask God to place His finger
on the sins you need to confess. He will do it with unerring accuracy, probably bringing
to light sins which you never recognised!

I have confined this analysis to the situation in Great Britain. Much of what I have said,
however, applies to other nations who are heirs to the Judeo-Christian inheritance and
to the church worldwide. May God help each of us to accept our personal responsibility!

Yours in the Master’s service
Derek Prince

Forgiveness has a powerful effect in the process of healing from hurts, and conflict situations. Whereas conflict and problems can turn into situations that are debilitating to our health, both spiritually and physically; to our mind; and self-esteem. Forgiveness brings that healing balm that will quench the emotional coals of rejection, resentment, hatred, malice, etc. The application of forgiveness is a means for healing hurts, and resolving interpersonal and intra-psychic conflicts.

We sometimes wonder why we have to go through the difficulties of the Christian life. At times we writhe against the pain, and humiliation. However, it will all be worth it all bye and byr. We can turn our hurts into precious gems of forgiveness. For instance, a pearl is formed when a grain of sand enters and irritates the tissue of the oyster. Rather than writhe and fight with the sand, the oyster will adapt itself to it by secreting a substance to coat the sand, so that the discomfort gradually dispels. Real pearls are expensive, because they have gone through the process of production. The oyster accepted the hurt, and turned it around into something that is very precious, rare and valuable. When we have gone through the fire of affliction, we too will come out as pure gold.

Life is composed of many complex situations and misfortunes that change our plans and sometimes result in hurts and disappointments. Those hurts and disappoints are our grain of sand that have come to irritate, frustrate, and make us stressful and depressed. For some of those situations we do not have the power to manipulate them into experiences of successes. While with others, for most of the time we spend weeks, months, and even years nursing a grudge that is not making us better.

We live in a world that is filled with many changing experiences, and we must adapt ourselves to respond in a peaceful and sensible manner to create the types of environment that are most conducive to our well- being. No one can dictate what our destiny will be. Only God has that information. Although people will contribute to our disappointments and failures in life, they cannot, and must not control the way we treat ourselves, or the way we respond to adverse events.

The concept of forgiveness has become a most interesting subject that is being researched by a variety of people who have written articles on its value and powerful healing effect. Nonetheless, there are those who have not caught a glimpse of its therapeutic properties as well as its spiritual nature, not as a cure or elixir for problems, but as an agent for settling controversies and disputes. It is not a balm to make use feel better. Instead, forgiveness acts as a mediator that will lead to reconciliation with God, and the person who has offended us. It gives us peace and a sense of having done the will of God as He commanded us to do.

From the spiritual perspectives, we read in the Bible that unless we forgive, God will not forgive us [Matthew 6:14-15]. The theme of this message is that God considers forgiveness an essential element in the Christian's life.

We might ask if Christians are the only people who need to use forgiveness as a tool to resolve dispute, I do not think so. If only Christians used it, then the world would be in far more turmoil than it now is. Whatever label the world may give to it, such as an apology, make up, etc., the main emphasis is that someone is giving up his right to settle a dispute, which could cause considerable damage if the offender had retaliated.

When problems arise, they often lead to interpersonal conflicts. It is from the conflicts that people become angry and say hurtful things that make them sorry at the end. We will not now look at problems and conflict and their relationship to forgiveness.

Problems and Conflict

Problems arise in the life of each person, but the way those problems are handled, will prove the strength and character of the individual. Problems of themselves are innocuous most of the times, but if we take the issues out of proportion or attack an individual, instead of the issues themselves, we will be in trouble because this will lead to conflict.

There are two factors to consider when problems arise. First, if we take a hurtful situation out of context and start to become over-concerned about it, we will create conflict within ourselves [intra-psychic conflict]. Second, if we overlook the situation or issue and begin to deal with the person who caused the problem, we will create interpersonal conflict [including one or more persons]. It is also important not to deny, or ignore problems when they occur.

What is Conflict?

Conflicts will occur when there is a personal reaction to problems. The person becomes overwhelmed with the desire to resolve the strong emotions of discomfort that he/she is experiencing. That person might even become desperate due to the urge to return a normal balance to life.

However, problem solving cannot take place when conflict exists. The reason is that, conflict affects the state of an individual’s mind when there are troubling circumstances that he/she is unable to deal with. It is the impact the individual allows the issues in the situation to have on the mind that causes the emotional discomfort. These include: anger; fear; anxiety; suspicions, and so on. Sometimes conflicts arise out of the wrong choices we have made or we were forced into. When we make wrong choices, we tend to blame ourselves or someone else. Really, we are usually the last to take the blame.

What are some of the Causes for Conflict?

Conflict starts with problems. However, sometimes what we consider to be a problem is not really a problem, but our own faulty perceptions of what went wrong. If a friend passed by without speaking, and you took that to be an occasion to ignore the individual the next time you meet, without first finding out if he/she was preoccupied, then you are creating a situation that can lead to a problem. Unless you deal with this [false hurtful] feeling of being overlooked or ignored by the individual, you may continue to feed those misconceptions of being overlooked. Another situation that can result in conflict occurs when there are bruises to our self-esteem. Not many people can deal with embarrassment and still maintain a pleasant Christian attitude. Conflict can also be caused when you have been treated badly by someone whom you cared for—a significant other, or another individual.

How do we get into Conflict?

We get into conflict from the interpretation of our emotions, and the perceptions we have about an event or the person who has hurt us. When we are hurt, there will be feelings that will emanate from that hurt. Maybe the person made some sarcastic remarks about our dress; family; children; husband; or anything that personally relates to us. Hurts can originate from many situations. It is the feelings from the hurts, and our interpretation that bring us into conflict. Evidently, conflict cannot be resolved without dealing first with our emotions.

What are some of the feelings we struggle with?

• Anxiety; Anger; Fear
• Embarrassment
• Shame
• Guilt
• Discouragement
• Disappointment
• Low self-esteem
• Insecurity
• Abandonment
• Resentment
• Rejection
• Jealousy
• Revenge

Clearly, the acknowledgement of our feelings is vital to our emotional stability, so that life can return to a healthy balance. We should not pretend or deny our true feelings. Otherwise, they will become obstacles that will prevent us from moving on to better emotional, physical, and spiritual health; leading to success in life

Conflict and Forgiveness

Obviously, in a relationship many situations can create concerns when conflicts occur. What do we do when those feelings come into our minds? What do we do with the discomfort that is associated with conflicts? We may find that it is at such times that we really struggle with what is right and what is wrong [dissonance]. We want to do the right thing, but we are in turmoil with our hurts. Simultaneously, we are faced with making a decision with what is evil and what is good [Compare Romans 7]. We struggle with making a decision with: which voice to obey, or which method to choose that will bring about a feeling of peace and satisfaction.

I will now look the relationship between conflict and forgiveness

What is Forgiveness?

• Full surrender of a situation to God and waiting for His direction.
• Praying for the person who has offended you.
• The prayer must be sincere for it to be effective.
• Having a determination to obey God whatever He says, no matter how this hurts. It does hurt sometimes when we have to yield to God’s will. It is at such times thatHis grace is most effective.
• Avoiding the spread of rumors and telling everyone about the situation.
• A humble spirit is vital for forgiveness to take place. Matthew 18:15, directs us to approach the offender. Despite our
obedience to the word, we must be humble and pray that we do not enter into the same weakness as the offender.

What does the Bible say about Forgiveness?
• Forgiveness comes from God: Ps. 130:4;
• It is conditional (2 Chronicles 7:14);Matt. 6:12-15; Mark 11:26);
• Forgiveness teaches us patience, Matt.18:21ff.
• It teaches compassion for the sinner/offender, 2 Corinthians 2:7;
• God is always willing to forgive us, 1 John 1:9.

Forgiveness is not:
• Over-looking or denying the wrong done to you by pretending it did not happen;
• Lying about the way you feel and covering it up with a fake smile while you are seething like a volcano underneath;
• Showing how more spiritual you are by being self-righteous;
• Exonerating the offender; you are not God;
• Making the offender feel inferior;
• Showing how humble you are for people to see, etc.

Forgiveness is:
• Being patient with the offender
• Being empathetic
• Trying to see things from the Scriptural perspective (1 Corinthians 10:13)
• Loving
• Prayerful
• Not resentful
• Compassionate
• Longsuffering, etc.

Forgiveness relates to conflict in a very positive way because it is a conflict resolution tool. When we forgive someone a wrong, we relieve our minds of the toxins (different forms of negative emotions) that will make a clutter in our minds.

Results of an Unforgiving Spirit [Matthew 18]

• Social Consequence—broken relationships
• Spiritual Consequence—separation from God
• Personal Consequence—psychosomatic illnesses - stress, insomnia, etc.
• Emotional—health problems – resentment,anger, anxiety
• Psychological—health problems – depression

Matthew 18:15-16 [Questions to think about]

• Why do I have to go the person who has wronged me?
• What if the person insults me?
• What if I am offended again?
• How many times must I go to the person and point out the fault?
• How can I help the person who is at fault?
• What if the person refuses my help?

Copyright © Barbara Y. Stuart, 2004
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Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us,
But to Your name give glory,
Because of Your mercy,
Because of Your truth. . . .
You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord;
He is their help and their shield. . . .
But we will bless the Lord
From this time forth and forevermore.
Praise the Lord! (Psalm 115:1, 11, 18).

Remember, O Lord, Your tender mercies and Your lovingkindnesses,
For they are from of old.
Do not remember the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions;
According to Your mercy remember me,
For Your goodness sake, O Lord (Psalm 25:6-7).

"Forgiveness is not a feeling, but a decision. This does not mean that trust is immediately restored."

I recently received an email that said: "Warning: Do not open!" When I read the email, it went on to tell about a virus that could potentially destroy the entire hard drive on the computer. I am certain that you have received one of these virus warning emails from co-workers, family, or friends that have a similar subject line. Like a human virus that can spread rapidly from one person to another. A computer virus travels from one computer to the next causing major destruction. Once a virus is registered on a computer, it automatically picks up certain codes that goes into a tail spin quicker then you can blink to destroy all of your personal data. Other times a virus can actually sit on your computer for days before it releases itself, (waiting for a certain date), meanwhile unknowingly this dangerous virus has been spread to other computers causing damage to the unsuspecting.

Unfortunately, I have contracted computer viruses on my own computer causing severe consequences. What does a computer virus have anything to do with my subject on "unforgiveness"?

I believe that unforgiveness can be a deadly virus in our lives if we leave it untreated. Many health experts refer to it as "deadly emotions." Researchers even agree that unforgiveness is linked to a variety of health issues. There have been studies conducted to measure heart rates, sweat rates, and other responses of volunteers who were asked to remember the wrongs that they have experienced. According to Professor Charlotte Van Oyen of Hope College in Michigan where the study was done; the subjects blood pressure and heart rates increased, as well as muscle tension was shown to be higher. This demonstrates that stress levels are higher when an individual is walking in unforgiveness as appose to forgiveness. Stress leads to a host of other illnesses that lands people in the hospitals daily. Dr. Don Colbert, M.D. says, "One of the secret causes of stress plaguing millions of people is unforgiveness."

What does it mean to forgive? In The Five Languages of Apology, by Dr. Gary Chapman (also author of The Five Love Languages) simply states to "forgive means to cover, to take away; to pardon; and to be gracious to. When we forgive, it means to lift the penalty and to pardon the offender. Forgiveness is not a feeling, but a decision. This does not mean that trust is immediately restored."

Whenever we are wronged or an offense has been committed towards us, at that moment, we have the option to forgive that person or that wrong. People often feel justified to be in unforgiveness because of what they had to endure, or pain they had to suffer; however, unforgiveness ultimately destroys the person that is the one that is in unforgiveness, not the other person. The human brain is like a computer, it is a memory bank, whether it's short-term or long term, it releases biochemical stress responses when you meditate and rehearse all the offenses that have been committed towards you. I have heard it said that the individual that is in unforgiveness is the one drinking the deadly poison, but instead wishing the other person would die.

We were taught as young as we can remember, "forgive and you will be forgiven..." because this is something that seems so elementary, something we probably learned as children and in Sunday school. The opportunity to be in unforgiveness faces all of us at one time or another and multiple times through out our life. This is a spiritual principal that if we choose, will result in freedom. Colossians 3:13 says, "You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (NLT)

We have all been hurt and devastated by someone close to us, but we have the option to not allow the hurt to get rooted in bitterness, which then causes stress and stress causes a variety of sickness and disease to harvest in our lives. This can be a viscous cycle, and we are surrounded by people daily that live in this cycle of unforgiveness. I like what Dr. Colbert says, "Forgiveness does not mean that you didn't hurt. It's choosing to not live in the feeling of unforgiveness." If we choose to forgive, does that mean that we let those who hurt us back into our lives without first earning our trust? Absolutely not! Depending where the relationship is at; I believe that is a decision between the two individuals involved.

During a recent Women's Weekend of Wellness, in Atlanta, Georgia; natural health expert, Jordan Rubin shared on preventative strategies for women's health. Jordan felt led and inspired to lead the women in an exercise to release unforgiveness in their lives, because he understands the importance of forgiveness and how unforgiveness can hinder one's healing from taken place and that a lot of health related issues that have gone untreated are simply due unforgiveness. It was truly a powerful moment.

You may want to try this exercise if you need guidance in this area to get through your own hurt and unforgiveness. The women were encouraged to write down on paper whatever it was that was keeping them in unforgiveness. When they finished, they brought the "unforgiveness" to the front and put it into a box. Just about every woman in the room did this exercise and brought their unforgiveness down and dropped it in the "unforgiveness" box; to bury it-to let it go once and for all. At the end of this exercise, women were set free. There were a lot of tears, laughter, and joy knowing that they have finally chosen to release unforgiveness in their lives so that they can allow healing to flow in their bodies. Forgiveness is powerful!

We all must choose whether or not to forgive a wrong that has been done to us, and it can be the most difficult thing to do. Some offenses may seem minor, making forgiveness easy. The true test is when forgiveness is difficult; remember Dr. Gary Chapman's definition of forgiveness? When you are willing to cover; to take away; to pardon; to be gracious to; to lift the penalty and to pardon the offender. I have had to deal with this issue on a few occasions. I know it's difficult. I am not practicing what I preach, but rather I am preaching what I have had to practice in my own life!

In order to prevent the dangerous viruses from infecting our computers and causing permanent damage; companies have created an Anti-virus software, an option that is now available and protects our computers from contracting these harmful viruses that can render our computers useless. Like the anti-virus software, forgiveness is the remedy or antidote to unforgiveness for our own well-being! No matter how difficult your situation is, choose to let go, forgive that person that hurt you, the words that were spoken over you, the abuse that you may have experienced, the husband or wife that walked out on you, the children that rebelled and didn't appreciate what you did for them. Perhaps you need help to get through this, it's ok, get the help you need. The longer you live in this cycle, the more damage the virus will cause.

Like some computer viruses that sit and waits for a certain date to release itself; unforgiveness is similar- it registers on your memory bank, waiting for the day that it can actually release it's poison and then paralizes you from being able to move forward. It's no easy matter- but you can do it! Choose to forgive. Don't drink the deadly poison, and don't allow the deadly virus to spread through your body, robbing you of health and vitality; robbing your precious life of joy that belongs to you. You can do it! Choose to experience total freedom, health and healing in your spirit, soul, and body!

Sources:

http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9905/20/forgiveness/

Dr. Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas. The Five Languages of Apology. Northfied, 2006
Dr. Don Colbert, M.D. The Seven Pillars of Health. Siloam, 2007

Duong Sheahan is the Founder of http://www.beautysecretsspiritsoulbody.com -A Health and Wellness website empowering women to achieve their optimal health. Beauty Secrets Spirit Soul & Body has an emphasis on natural health and prevention covering relevant topics for spiritual, emotional, and physical health. For articles and resources visit: http://beautysecretsspiritsoulbody.com.

"O God, if only you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life, you murderers! They blaspheme you; your enemies misuse your name. O LORD, shouldn't I hate those who hate you? Shouldn't I despise those who oppose you? Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." ~ Psalm 139:19-24

This is a tough one. Have you ever been hurt by another person before? Betrayed, slandered, mistreated, abused, or violated? Have you ever witnessed injustice, cruelty or prejudice? Have you ever been a victim of circumstance or persecution? Of course you have, you're human! We all have. We live in a fallen world, overcome by sin, and we've all experienced, and caused, by the way, pain.

As Christians we are admonished to forgive. "Forgive, forgive, forgive!" Jesus said we are to forgive a person who hurts us seventy times seven, meaning as often as we are hurt or offended. We are to forgive if we want to be forgiven.

Forgiveness isn't natural. It isn't what we want. What we want is payback, vengeance, justice. We are humans, and we have human emotions and desires. When I read the above verses, I love the raw honesty of the Psalmist. He is being real with his emotions, strong and passionate as they are, as he cries out to God for intervention.

No, forgiveness isn't natural. But it is necessary. It is necessary for our own sakes. When we hold onto the offenses that are done to us, we become steeped in anger, and that anger turns to bitterness, animosity, hostility and hate. And those emotions are destructive, not to the person who hurt or offended us, but to ourselves.

If we choose to forgive our enemies, we free ourselves from an ugly and dark self-imposed prison and we free God to act on our behalf. He will vindicate us. God is the judge, and He's got our backs! It says in Romans 12:19, "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord."

Offering forgiveness doesn't simply mean the offender is getting off without penalty though. Simply put, actions have consequences. One way or another. Forgiveness can be instantaneous, but I think (in my case anyway) that's more the exception than the rule. We have very real and strong emotions that we experience when we are harmed. That's natural. And we often have to allow ourselves to experience them before we are able to choose to let go, heal and forgive.

When we make that choice, it doesn't make necessarily make all of our feelings go away, but rather it allows God to come in and begin to do His work in helping us to heal. His healing further allows us to let go and move forward. It is then that we are able to follow His lead and live the life He desires for us to have.

And it is only after that, after we've allowed God to show us the dark places in our hearts and heal us, that we are truly able to follow His path, ascend His hill and stand in His holy place.

"Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD? Or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted up his soul to an idol, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation." ~ Psalm 24:3-5

Lauryn Abbott is a wife and mother, with a passion for writing and a zest for life. Her writing has always been a private passion, but recently the Lord has been urging her to make it public. More of her writing can be found on her Seed Thoughts blog at:

http://takeck.blogspot.com

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